Finding Yourself is Sooo Cliché

Tattoo2We’ve all heard the expression:

She’s finding herself.

He’s taking some time to find himself.

It’s synonymous with someone leaving for an exotic place, eating weird food, and probably writing a memoir. Or someone quitting her job and locking herself in a basement with a guitar. Both scenarios are usually explained with an eye roll. But what does it really mean, to find yourself? For me, it has everything to do with looking in the mirror.

We all have things about ourselves we’d like to change. A word for it is dysphoria, which literally means “a state of unease or dissatisfaction.” Dysphoria* comes in many shapes and sizes. Some of us are only “mildly dissatisfied” with things about ourselves. Others struggle with crippling dysphoria. For some, it’s a temporary struggle. For others, it’s a lifelong battle. What I’m going to talk about is somewhere in the middle.

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Happy New Year to all!

We’ve made it through the Mayan ‘apocalypse’ and I have made it through a rough few weeks with the flu and pneumonia.  It seems like getting sick is my Christmas tradition, but this was one was especially bad.  Thankfully, it seems to be on its way out.  Having been doing a lot of sitting around while sick, I’ve been catching up on my Facebook/Email/UselessReadingThingsOnline.  While reading about everyone’s holidays and some sweet Christmas stories, I stumbled upon a couple of personal stories that really hit home.  These are two stories from two moms, neither of whom I know personally.  I found their stories because they had been shared by friends of friends on Facebook.

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Half The Pillow

As I sit here, still awaiting the imminent birth of Baby (#4) “Button”, I have my last baby on my mind.  Maclane was #3, and he was supposed to be the last baby.  I think, because of that, I’ve seen him as a ‘baby’ much longer than the other two.  Of course, in reality, he’s very much a big boy now.  He is three years and three months old, and he talks up a storm.  Sometimes, only I can understand his continuous monologue, but he keeps on all the same.  During the day, Maclane is independent, assertive, and curious.  He has something to do all the time.  At night, however, he is Mama’s baby.

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Lady in Waiting

Yes, yes, I know.  The title of this post is also the title of a popular Christian book for girls about remaining a virgin until marriage.  That is absolutely not, however, what I intend to write about today.  Although I think the message of that book is wonderful, I think it’s clear that, for me, that ship has sailed.  Ten years after getting married, however, I find myself a different kind of ‘lady in waiting’.

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