How to Speak “Maclane”

Maclane.  “Wee-Bubby”.  My “little one”.  My “snugglebutt”.  My “big Mac”.

If there’s one thing about Maclane that stands out, it’s his history with speech.  As some of you know, Maclane was in speech therapy for about a year, because he could only say about three words at nearly two years-old.  His doctor told us this was most likely because he had fluid in his ears for a long period of time before having tubes put in.  Needless to say, the speech therapy was very, very effective.  Now, Maclane never stops talking.  Ever.  As he said to his Papa recently, “I just start talking when the sun comes up.”  And the other day, he informed me, “Mommy, I have a lot of words inside of me.”  Except…that first sentence came out of his mouth like this, “I jus start tal-ting when da sun tomes up.”

You see, the one problem speech therapy did not correct was his inversion of “T” or “D” for all his K’s and G’s.  Although it is supposed to resolve on its own, Maclane cannot say “kuh” or “guh”.  And the result can be somewhat confusing and hard to understand, but it’s so darn cute it’s hard to try to fix it.  In an effort to try and capture it before he grows out of it, I keep saying I should try to write a poem about it.  I am not, however, a very good poet.  I leave that art to Julie, the best friend.  She has written beautiful, sweet poems about her boys’ speech patterns.  I will just be attempting to blog about Maclane’s.

So…here are some of the best examples of How to Speak “Maclane”:

“Mommy, tan I have a tate roll?” (Mommy, can I have a cake roll?)

“Pe-tause I did it.” (Because I did it.)

“I wan you to put it in my boot bad.” (I want you to put it in my book bag.)

“Where are all my sqean-tees?” (Where are all my squinkies?)

“Papa wen to da porch to use his smo-ters.” (Papa went to the porch to use his smokers.)

“I’m not wee-bubby. I’m Ma-tlane.” (I’m not wee-bubby.  I’m Maclane.)

“I wan to do det my maymay to tate in da tar.” (I want to go get my maymay to take in the car.)

“I like da blue su-ters and the dreen su-ters.” (I like the blue suckers and the green suckers.)

“Tan I have chot-late milk?  Or Tee-ah?” (Can I have chocolate milk? Or tea?)

“For Trist-mas, I wan da Spiderman tastle and a Mr. Drinch!” (For Christmas, I want the Spiderman castle and a Mr. Grinch!)

“I wan to do to nawa-way and say light the tandle, light the tandle!” (I want to go to NarroWay and say light the candle, light the candle!)

“Is is time for angels ta-mond us?” (Is it time for angels among us?)

“I love pi-tuls and doc peppa!” (I love pickles and Dr. Pepper!)

“I dot lots of tandy!” (I got lots of candy!)

“Gosh oh gee, ah happy hawoween, if I tuld only whis-tul.” (Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be, if I could only whistle.”

And some of his family members’ names…
“Bess-da” (Samantha)
“Drant” (Grant)
“Dabriel” (Gabriel)
“Ta-leb and Efan” (Caleb and Ethan)
“Tat” (Cat)
“Fran-ty” (Frankie)
“Ma-chew” (Matthew)
“My baby Su-don” (My baby Sutton)
“Dram-pa” (Grandpa)

And the list goes on.  Sometimes, if a sentence contains numerous T’s and G’s, he almost needs a translator.  It’s a bit like understanding Pig Latin, however.  Once you know the trick, you can decipher it.  I have explained “Maclane” to numerous teachers and babysitters, and sometimes even family.  I know it’s hard, sometimes, for other people, but I can’t helping loving his little speech quirk.  He will outgrow it someday, says his speech therapist, and he has already demonstrated that he can make the sounds.  Every now and then, he’ll say “cake” and not realize he’s done it.  He is also very aware of his inversions, because if you ask him to repeat something for the sake of hearing his mistake, he will refuse.

For now, though, I’ve just learned how to speak “Maclane”.  I translate for him, and I try to patiently listen to all those words he has to say.  It’s hard, sometimes, because he wants to make sure all of his ‘words’ are heard.  He wants all of his questions answered immediately.  He follows me, or his Papa, or whomever is home, around all day narrating what you and he are doing and asking a million questions.  He is curious and stubborn.  He is funny and sweet.  He can be frustrating and loud.  But he is my Maclane.  And love speaks every language.  Even “Maclane”.

— Cat