Yes, yes, I know. The title of this post is also the title of a popular Christian book for girls about remaining a virgin until marriage. That is absolutely not, however, what I intend to write about today. Although I think the message of that book is wonderful, I think it’s clear that, for me, that ship has sailed. Ten years after getting married, however, I find myself a different kind of ‘lady in waiting’.
I am waiting on my fourth child, a little girl, to be born. She is due Oct 19th, and I believe she will make her appearance by or before then. As you would expect, I am pretty much ready for her to GET OUT ALREADY! I have become a lazy, whiny, aching, nauseous lump of pregnant woman that no one wants to be around. I don’t even want to be around me. I am sufficiently ready for baby to be in my arms and not crushing my intestines. Strangely, though, I have no desire to ask to be induced.
I, personally, love this miserable, seemingly endless time. There is something so exciting about not knowing what day will be ‘the day’. It runs so contrary to my nature, because I am usually one who loves advance planning. I thrive on making lists and nailing down details. I like to know what’s coming, and to prepare. So I’m surprised at myself that, when it comes to childbirth, I enjoy the not-knowing. Maybe it’s related to the fact that I also hate discovering my Christmas presents before Christmas day. There are certain things that, for me, the waiting making so much sweeter.
So, as each day passes, I wait. I’ve packed my bag and the diaper bag. I’ve organized the bottles and the nursery. I’ve made lists and checked them off, and I feel ‘ready’. Now, I wait for baby girl to be ready. Every day I think about what would make this day special, if I went into labor. I wonder what her birthday will be, and I think about the many different ways that day could go. And each night is like Christmas Eve, imagining that I might wake up in the morning and it will be birth day.
On a spiritual note, I also like to think this is how Jesus hopes we feel about his second coming. In the Bible, he tells us, “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back – whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn.” –Mark 13:35-37. The Bible tells us to be prepared well in advance, so that we can spend our days eagerly anticipating his return. So many generations have ‘looked up’ hoping for Christ’s return, but have gone on to be with Him, as God chose to let this world go on a little longer. I do not know God’s plan, so I may also be one of these.
If I do not live to see Jesus’ return, then I would like to think I’ve found an earthly understanding of the experience. I am a lady in waiting. Waiting with a purpose for a day and hour I do not know, but I know it is coming. I see the signs, I feel the ‘groanings’, and I know the hour is nigh. Soon, I will hold baby, and I trust in the not knowing. In the same way, I trust in Jesus. And someday, I will stand before my King and, for Him, I am also a lady in waiting.